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"None of us has time to manage our texts and emails, so if I'm finding the time to manage this, there's something typically going wrong."Denial: "If you say, 'You're on your computer a lot,' and they emphatically deny it, that's a sign there could be guilt," he said, "because if they aren't doing something inappropriate they won't really protest."Coping with the problem Is it possible to rebuild a partnership once the trust has been broken?Therapy is usually needed to address the problem and its fallout."But it's what we do with our marriages all the time.

"If the laptop used to be in the kitchen, but now you can't find it, or when they stop leaving their phone out on the counter or on the nightstand like they used to — even when they shower, it's missing — that's a sign."New passwords: "If your partner suddenly changes the password they've had for a long time, and won't tell you what it is, this is a definite red flag."Clean inbox: "If the trash file is cleared out and there's a lot of dumping of old emails, this could be a sign too," Neuman said.

That same day, I'd been called pointless and ugly and...

(Heidi Stevens)Recognizing red flags Here are some signs your spouse could be cyber cheating, from Neuman: First you know, then the sharing stops.

"People underestimate that trauma because no one talks about it. You have to understand what the person went through and give them the opportunity to let it go.

So that needs to be addressed, preferably with a therapist." For the victim: Don't hang on to the blame game.

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